And the Ice Was Melted by the Fire
by Tesque
Summary: A little Lucius angst. A photo of Draco and Ginny sent by Draco makes him draw on flashbacks of himself as a teenager...and Lily. [note: this fic is thoroughly embarrassing. Like "Midnight," I keep it only for the old memories. - 12/02]


A/N: I was reading, like, the ten-millionth angsty Snape/Lily fic on FFN when suddenly I thought "Ugh, screw Snape, what about

_A/N:_ I was reading, like, the ten-millionth angsty Snape/Lily fic on FFN when suddenly I thought "Oh, screw Snape, what about Lucius?" So I clicked into advanced search, and when I got 0 matches a nasty incident occurred that involved a fist, a laptop and a bottle of raspberry seltzer and I just realized that no way in hell am I going to publish this embarrassing slip of my temper so I'll leave it at that. ^_^ So, anyway, that's how this little Lucius/Lily thing came about. Some D/G involved too.

_Disclaimer:_ Do I _look_ like J.K. Rowling? Do I? *realizes that no one on FFN knows what I look like anyway and blushes* Okay, since you have no visual evidence, just take my word for it that I am _not_ the brilliant, the creative, the great J.K. and I do _not_ own these characters.

And the Ice Was Melted By the Fire 

** **

…yes, and Slytherin just beat Hufflepuff in the last Quidditch match – not that it was much of a challenge! Hufflepuffs are foolish prats, like you've always said, Father. I'm doing quite well in my studies, thanks, and like usual, I'm still top of the class in Potions. That old oaf, Hagrid, continues to bring horrifying monster after another in Care of Magical Creatures. It's disgusting. I still can't see why he hasn't been sacked. The only reason he ever got the job in the first place is because of Dumbledore, anyway. Soft-hearted Muggle lover.

_Must go, it's dinnertime. Tell Mother that I send my love and best wishes to her._

_Yours,_

_Draco_

_P.S. By the way, I've included some photographs of me and my friends…particularly Ginny Weasly. I do know you rather don't approve of our relationship, Father, but Mother doesn't mind, try to understand, please._

_ _

Lucius crumpled up the letter that just arrived via owl into a ball and tossed it dismissively into the wastebasket. He'd stopped reading the postscript the moment he'd caught sight of the words _Ginny Weasly_. What on _earth_ had possessed his son to fall in love with a _Weasly_ – a redheaded, hot-tempered, Muggle-loving _Weasly_?

Lucius snatched the envelope harshly and proceeded to tear it in half. When a small stack of photographs fell out. Admittedly curious, Lucius leaned down and lifted the first one to look at – and nearly had a heart attack.

_Lily._

_Oh. My. God._ Lucius clutched at the photo, grabbed at it with white, shaking hands (and nearly tearing it in the process). Yes, that was her all right, that was Lily. That was _his_ Lily. Oh crap, oh crap. And that tall, slim figure next to her? Him. All over. The silvery-blond hair, the clouded gray eyes that never failed to leave a person pondering the mystery of the enigma that they were in the company of. Hell, most people never even _bothered_ trying to figure him out – they knew that he'd just push them away, and not gently, either, as harsh as _Expelliarmus_. But Lily, she was different. She just bounced over, with all of her fiery, spirited charm and flung open the door to Lucius's shadowy world. Knock? No, of course not. Lily Evans never bothered with social pleasantries, because she was…well…she was _Lily_.

That was why he'd loved her. Why he still loved her, even in her death.

Lucius paced the study, cursing heavily under his breath. _All right. Breathe. Good. Oh, hell, screw this. Lily, Lily, Lily. Damn it, damn it. Shit. _Lucius shook his head. This was too complicated. Lily. And him. As teenagers. Sent by Draco. Right.

_Whatever_. Lucius seized the picture again, with a bit more aggression than necessary, and stared at it until his eyes were practically burning holes through it. Oh, yeah, that was Lily. The turbulent-yet-beautiful tumbling coppery red hair. The soft, ivory skin. The sparkling brown ey—

Hang on. Stop the tape. _Brown_ eyes? Lily had green eyes, he remembered them clearly. The laughing, shiny green eyes bubbling with mirth…

Lucius flipped the photograph over. On the back was scribbled in Draco's elegant script _"Ginny and I by the lake._" 

He exhaled, annoyed that he'd released all that pent-up frustration over a stupid photo of his son and his girlfriend. So. That was Ginny Weasly. But still, a tiny voice in the back of his head argued, _Bullshit, Ginny and Draco. That's Lily, that's Lily! That's you and Lily, so many years ago…_

*****

"I. Bloody. Hate. James. Potter."

Lucius sat down next to Lily as she flopped down onto the soft green grass next to the lake, muttering and rambling under her breath about the obnoxious, evil creation called James Potter. "What did Potter do now?" he asked, sounding weary but inside fuming at the little prick. How _dare_ he do anything to Lily? Beautiful, sarcastic, sweet Lily. Goddess.

Lily rolled over onto her stomach to face him. "Look at me! Just _look_ at me!" she nearly spat, gesturing at herself.

_Gladly,_ Lucius wanted to say. Any excuse for him to stare at Lily without getting strange looks from her was a godsend to him. He studied her thoughtfully, scrutinizing her face and, yeah, her body. Of course, teenage hormones played no part in this little examination, he hurriedly assured himself. "I see no difference," he said flatly, pushing all possible traces of emotion out of his voice should she detect the love and admiration he tried hard not to convey.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Now don't get all elitist snob with me, Luc. You forget that you're with the only person who knows it's faked."

A careless, flippant statement, but Lucius nearly wept at those words. They were so true. Lily was the only person who he'd let into his life, the only person who he cared about, the only person who cared about _him_. Moreover, the only person he'd _let_ himself care about, _let_ her care about him.

"Okay," Lucius said. He stared at her hard, determinedly pushing away all…er, _indecent_ thoughts. Then his brow scrunched up. "Er…Lily…is it me, or are your freckles _purple hearts_?"

Lily let out a loud, pitiful wail. "Ooohhh, is it _that _obvious?" she howled. "I'm going to _kill_ Potter!"

_Me first,_ Lucius thought. "What do you mean, 'is it that obvious'?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, well, if _you_ actually noticed them, then there must be like a neon red sign flashing above my head reading '_Everyone Line Up to See the Freak With Purple Heart-shaped Freckles_'."

"If _I _noticed?"

"Yeah. I mean, if Lucius Malfoy, Captain Oblivious, took the time to realize they were there then…_ugh_!" Lily buried her face in her hands.

"Captain Oblivious? Gee, thanks," Lucius responded dryly. "God, Lily, you are so conceited about your appearance." _Although you definitely have the right to be,_ he added silently.

Lily whipped her head around and glared at him. "Am not!"

"Then why do you care so much about your purple hearts?"

Lily frowned. "I…oooohh, I _hate_ Potter!"

*****

** **

As long ago it had been, Lucius remembered every detail of that day vividly. Remembered each day he had ever spent in the company of his magnificent, fiery angel, Lily Evans. How could he not? They'd been the best days he'd ever had, the only _good_ days he'd had.

Lucius stared at the photo in his hand. Lily. Ginny. Lucius. Draco. It was like Draco had sent this photograph of him and his girlfriend to – to _torture_ Lucius, taunt him. _Ha ha, Father, you missed your chance with Lily. You could have had her, Father, you could have. But you just let James Potter take her. But now, _I_ have her. I have Lily Evans reincarnated. I didn't let Harry Potter have her, I actually took action. Not like you, Father. Not like you…_

_ _

*****

"You _what_?"

A slightly hurt look flashed across Lily's delicate features. "I accepted," she said simply.

Lucius pressed a hand against his temple. _Okay. This isn't happening, this isn't happening…_ "Let me get this straight. James Potter asked you to the Graduation Ball…_and you bloody accepted_?" he blurted out. "Last time I checked, you _hated_ Potter!"

Lily blinked, as if that thought had just occurred to her. "Okay, well…I don't know. It just—happened. He asked me while I was leaving the common room and I – I just said okay. It was as if he'd never played that dumb prank on me. Besides," she added, lifting an eyebrow, "he really is pretty damn cute." She smirked.

Lucius wondered what Lily would say if he fainted dead away on the spot.

"Anyway," Lily continued, "what's it to you? Aren't you happy for me?" She nudged him playfully.

He forced a smile. "Right, Lily. If you…well, if you _like_ him, then…I guess so." He hurried on with the negativities. "But hey, I don't think that he's your _type_, Lil. I mean, maybe you guys just aren't…aren't _right_ for each other. Yeah, I don't think so. After all, I don't know, but I think you deserve someone a bit more—more—"

"Lucius," Lily interrupted. "You are so babbling."

_I don't care if I'm blathering. I'll turn the babble faucet on till I drown you in gibberish, as long as it keeps you away from that arrogant git. _"Oops." He gave her a weak smile. "I just want what's best for you, Lily." _Ugh, right, give her the 'I'm happy if you're happy' b.s._

"Lucius, sweetie, that's cute of you, but don't worry, I don't need you to start in on some loving brotherly talk crap. I'm a big girl." Lily flashed him an impish grin. " 'Sides, Luc, it's not like I'll be doing anything…say, _graphic_ – not like Molly Berenson and Arthur Weasly, anyway." Lucius snorted at the mention of the practically already-married couple. "Okay, yeah, probably some major tongue action will be happening, but _don't_ tell me that you're going to try and prevent that. Teenage hormones and all." She smirked again.

Interesting. Not many people could pinpoint the exact moment that their lives fell apart. Lucius was obviously a very special case. At the very moment Lily made her sarcastic comment about James' extremely overactive hormones, he could tell that she was completely into him. After all, Lucius knew Lily better than he knew himself, and often he could pin down her emotions much better than Lily herself could. Lily so wanted James.

Lucius nodded. "Yeah. Okay," he said simply. "Later, Lily."

Lily smiled. "See you, Lucius," she answered, turning to head back to Gryffindor Tower. "So, any last words for the much-envied date of James Potter?" she prompted dryly. "I don't know, how about good luck against those evil Hufflepuff that'll be puke-green with jealousy of me?"

Lucius pasted a smile on his face. "Right. Good luck, Lils. See you later."

"Bye!" Lily blew him a kiss and bounced away with full-on perkiness.

Lucius was hit with an overwhelming sense of loss and loneliness, standing in the middle of the hallway. Lily had left him. Left him for Potter. For someone better, for someone who deserved her much more than he did.

But that was okay. Hurt, loss, misery. He was used to it.

*****

** **

_I love you._

That's what he should have said to her. But he hadn't. He'd been too afraid. Too afraid of rejection. Because rejection from Lily wouldn't be like anything else. It would be crushing. Devastating. Their entire friendship, which he'd worked so hard to build as a foundation for a possible blooming romance to take place, would be torn to bits. So he hadn't.

And so because of his cowardice, she'd gone and married James Potter, and he had ended up in a hapless marriage with a woman he didn't love, serving the Dark Lord and having a son who despised him. Fate was definitely interlinked with the enemy, Pain. At least, that was how it obviously was for him, Lucius Malfoy.

He should have told her that he loved her, all those years ago. He should have.

But he hadn't. And he'd never have that same chance again.

Lucius opened the huge glass doors and stepped out onto the balcony into the cool, dark night. He stared up at the stars until he found the brightest one in the sky, the one most like his Lily. _Lils_, he thought, _I should have told you this a long time ago. But you know me. I've never been punctual. So I'll have to let you know so much later. I'm sorry, Lily._ He blew out his breath. _Lily....I love you._

He gazed at the stars for a long time. And then a cool gust of wind blew a delicate petal of a lily into his hands. And he smiled.

He still hated Ginny Weasly.

But Lily Potter finally knew that he loved her, even though Lily Evans never had. It was too late, way too late for Lucius to change anything. He should have let her know ages ago.

But, still...

Better late than never.

_ _

_A/N:_ ::blinks:: So. That was my completely horrible attempt at capturing an angsty, soft side of the hard Malfoy persona – kind of a warmup for the next chapter of _Midnight_. ::cough::shameless plug::cough:: It's definitely not as good and depressing as I wanted it to be. Do review and tell me if it's good or not, because I personally think it's complete b.s. But hey, that's just me.


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